Male and Female Communication

Do Men Motivate and Women Communicate?

Every day in this country, there are thousands of messages being sent and received by some individual with endless opportunities and choices it's truly an interesting story on how differently the sexes communicate.

I can remember parents describing how little girls and boys were different such sayings like little girls are made of sugar and spice, and everything nice. At this moment I can't really remember what little boys were made of or perhaps it only mattered to me what little girls were made of also it maybe how each parent communicated the male and female relationship.

Some have emphasized the facts that while little girls talk to be liked; little boys often talk to boast. Little girls make requests, little boys make demands. Little girls speak to create harmony; little boys prolong conflict. Little girls talk more indirectly; little boys talk directly. Little girls talk more with words; little boys use more action. While boys and girls both want to get their way they use language differently to do so. These styles of communication continue as boys and girls become men and women.

It was this style of communication that got my attention at this year MLM & Networking Convention where the number of women advancing in network marketing exceeded the men by three to one, including my wife who retired 8 years ago. I noticed during the women presentation each one of them stated that they put the rights of others before their own when giving a sales pitch or product demonstration by minimizing their own self-worth. Wow! I said what a concept it was like something I was told by a mentor, who said you must be willing to work for free to get the things you want out of life. Once more my mind went blank just as when my parents talked about what little girls are made of.

So for my opinion men use communication to maintain independence, while women talk to maintain intimacy. Whether conscious or unconscious, men often talk to establish status from others. Women use words to connect themselves emotionally, to express feelings, or build rapport. Men often share facts and figures, as if in a report.(now this explains why my wife has built a team of 15 distributors)

The following differences are much clearer now because I can see women generally tend to emphasize the value of equality when they communicate with coworkers and those they supervise. The value of the relationship is generally more important than who is in charge of the other person. Women tend to emphasize this relationship style of equality and stability whether they are talking to men or women. Men on the other hand, tend to emphasize the pecking order in a relationship. Men want to know if the relationship equal (friendship), conflicting (wrestler), or superior/subordinated (coach). In addition to wanting to know the "pecking order" of the relationship, men want to determine the "pecking order" first before any effective problem solving work begins. When a man supervises another man he naturally know this "pecking order" determination must take place before real problem solving communication can take place. However, women generally are not taught this important communication skill.

While women typically use nonverbal communication directly, men use it indirectly. Women stand in close proximity to each other, maintain eye contact, and gesture more frequently. Men hold their distance, rarely establish eye contact, and gestures less dramatically. Men and women also handle conflict differently .While women avoid conflict in order to insure closeness; men use conflict to gain status. There it is what I've always felt was the woman's role but it's man who focuses on status while the female focus on connection. Yet, because of the natural differences in the way men and women communicate; temporary adaptation to a different style pf communication is necessary. The primary goal of this adjustment is effective communication with members of the opposite sex. Men skilled at the art of interruption confidently voice their opinions and raise their voice if necessary to ensure they are heard. Women taught to be polite and that everyone should get his or her turn will wait patiently for an opening to speak. That opening may or may-not ever come, or if it does, women consistently permit others to interrupt. Consequently loss of her opinion may occur in the process. My wife's opinion at this moment get off the com-pu-ter.